Custard Tarts and Broken Hearts Read online

  She twirled round for him. ‘You won’t say that when you see me in my Arsenal cap and trousers. I look like a chap!’

  Sam’s face darkened. He was about to say something when Nellie gave the merest shake of her head. He stopped short and said instead, ‘Well, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do in the morning. Where am I kipping down, Nellie?’

  She was grateful he’d taken the hint. She didn’t want this precious homecoming spoiled by a tussle with Matty. Sam might not realize it but his little sister had changed, and not only physically: her naturally strong will had grown with her. Nellie doubted that Sam would any longer have the power to tame it.

  ‘Charlie’s going on the floor, he says you deserve a bed to yourself.’

  She knew how bone-tired he was when he didn’t argue. He groaned, pushed up from the armchair and shouldered his pack.

  ‘I’ll stow this upstairs. Come on, then, my two beautiful girls, escort me up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire!’

  They all three linked arms and squeezed up the narrow staircase, giggling and stumbling in the flickering amber gaslight. At the top Matty slipped into their bedroom, leaving Sam and Nellie just enough time for one precious goodnight kiss.

  The next morning Nellie was up early: she wanted Sam to have a decent breakfast. He didn’t have to tell her how badly he’d been fed, for his once-full boyish face had been chiselled away by too many hungry days, and as she’d held him tight the night before, she’d distinctly felt each rib. How they could expect men to fight when they were half-starved was beyond her. If she could do nothing else, she was determined to send him back with some flesh on him.

  Before the house was awake she dashed round to Spa Bakery, keen to get there before the bread queue formed; by mid-morning it was usually snaking down Spa Road. The pre-war mounds of golden-crusted bloomers, which had always filled the bakery shelves, were in short supply now. Most of the bread was bulked out with potato flour and called ‘war loaves’, but she knew there were still a few of the genuine variety to be had. She’d known Big Mo, the local baker, since childhood, and when he came out of the back bakery with a tray of rolls, he smiled at her.

  ‘Nellie, you’re early, love!’ He slid the tray of rolls into a basket, wiping his floury hands. She stood, holding her purse, looking up at him and hesitating, before asking for the favour.

  ‘What can I do you for?’ he asked.

  ‘I’ve got Sam home on leave, Mo. I wanted to give him a proper bit of bread with his breakfast,’ she said hopefully.

  Mo nodded, tapped his nose and ducked back into the bakery behind the shop. Soon he came out with a wrapped loaf and a bag of rolls. ‘Here’s a special for the boy.’ He winked, shaking his head as she dipped into her purse. ‘Go on, love, tell him it’s on me, will you?’

  Nellie nodded and thanked poor Mo, who had lost his only son last year. As she made her way back down Vauban Street, she noticed something flapping at the upstairs window of her house. It looked like a broom handle, stuck out like a crazy flagpole with a full set of army underwear, tunic, trousers and puttees attached, all blowing about in the breeze.

  What the bloody hell’s he done that for? she wondered, easing open the front door. She was surprised to see Matty already up and poking at the range.

  ‘I thought I’d make Sam a good breakfast!’ She smiled brightly.

  ‘Beat you to it, love.’ Nellie put the bread on to the kitchen table and Matty gave her an affectionate squeeze.

  ‘You love my brother, don’t you?’ she said mischievously, and Nellie, too shocked to reply, playfully shoved her off.

  ‘Leave off, Matty! Just help me get some bacon on, smell of that’ll get him out the bed quick enough!’

  But Matty wouldn’t be put off. ‘I could tell last night, you two couldn’t take your eyes off each other! No sense denying it, Nellie, it’s all over you!’

  ‘You be quiet, or I’ll get your brother to sort you out!’ Nellie ducked her head as she sliced the lovely new bread, but she could feel the blush spreading up her neck.

  ‘Well, before he gets up, I wanted to say thanks, Nell, for last night.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You stopped him jawing at me about the munitions work.’

  ‘I didn’t want no trouble his first night home, but you know he’s going to have it out with you, sooner or later.’

  Matty flipped the sizzling bacon in the pan. ‘I don’t like him being cross with me. If you could have a word…’

  Nellie pursed her lips and shook her head. ‘I can’t help you there, Matty. I don’t want you working at the Arsenal either.’

  Matty looked up at the clock – it was almost six.

  ‘I’ve got to rush, the early tram’s always packed for the Arsenal.’ She grabbed her bag and, as she kissed Nellie, decided to give her a second. ‘That one you can give my brother for me when he’s up.’ Her eyes twinkled mischievously, then the little canary flitted out, singing softly to herself, ‘The boy I love is UP in the gallery!’

  ‘Cheeky little cow she’s getting,’ Nellie muttered, but smiled all the same. She would definitely be passing that kiss on to Sam later!

  She was disappointed when he didn’t come down alone. All the boys had been tempted by the smell of bacon and came crowding round the little kitchen table. Alice followed soon after, to help her lay the table. Nellie heaped Sam’s plate the highest, with bacon, a fresh fried egg, and slices of bread with their meagre supply of butter spread thickly. The boys were content with their own smaller portions – bacon was always a treat.

  ‘Mmmm, Nellie, this is grand!’ Sam tucked in and soon the only sounds were the boys contentedly devouring their breakfast. Sam was wearing his civvies.

  ‘I saw you’ve put the flags out. What’s that in aid of?’ she asked.

  ‘He’s lousy,’ Charlie offered, with his mouth full of bacon sandwich. ‘Had to sleep starkers.’

  ‘Sorry, Nell.’ Sam looked embarrassed. ‘I’m running alive. I didn’t want to leave any visitors in Charlie’s bed, thought the best place for the little buggers was hangin’ out the window. Maybe they’ve all dropped off in the night!’

  ‘A bar of carbolic soap might do a better job. I’ll get the tin tub out when I get home.’

  Sam scratched at his arms and ribs. ‘Thanks, Nell, and I ought to get in the tub with ’em, I reckon!’

  It was Saturday and they all had a morning’s work to do. Nellie had the added task of her Co-op round in the afternoon, so it was late in the afternoon before she saw Sam again. Alice had already boiled up the copper and washed his kit. She came home to find the kitchen steaming, with wet khaki draped in front of the fire and hanging from a line strung across the ceiling. As she pulled aside a pair of long johns, she was confronted by Sam’s soapy upper torso. He was leaning back in the tin bath, dark hair plastered down over his neat round head, eyes closed, full mouth set in a slight smile. He was beautiful! In his stillness and contentment, she felt she was seeing him for the first time totally unguarded, totally at ease. Unwilling to disturb his peace, she was about to duck back behind the long johns when she saw a jagged red scar snaking from shoulder to chest. She gasped and his eyes snapped open.

  ‘Nellie!’ He pulled up his knees and grabbed for the flannel, draping it strategically over himself.

  ‘Cover your blushes, Sam, I’m coming through!’ She sailed right up to him and planted a kiss on his wet head.

  ‘That’s from Matty and this one’s from me.’ Leaning down, she gave him a loving, lingering kiss that left him gasping. She ran her finger along the shiny scar, following its jagged route across his chest.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she whispered, and before he could say more, she headed for the scullery.

  ‘I’ll get you some more hot!’ she called through the open door.

  ‘No, no, I’m all right, I’m out!’

  She heard water splashing about and was astonished at her own boldness. Where had it come from? Sh
e hadn’t thought twice about his nakedness, or propriety. There was the wound, evidence of all he’d been going through, and she had simply been propelled forward by love. Still, she smiled secretly to herself, she strongly suspected it hadn’t been an unpleasant experience for him!

  That evening they’d arranged to visit Lily and Jock. Sitting on the top deck at the back of the tram, Sam slipped his arm round her waist. She looked up into his eyes and remembered the unguarded, contented figure she’d witnessed in the tub. Sam now had on what she thought of as his ‘cheery face’ and she knew it masked a worry. Matty’s hours at the Arsenal were longer than most and she hadn’t been home by the time they’d left.

  ‘What are you going to do about Matty?’ she asked, guessing the source of his anxiety.

  ‘She’s got to give it up. Do you know how dangerous that TNT is, Nell? And God forbid a Zeppelin ever gets a direct hit on the Arsenal!’

  ‘You’ll have a hard time convincing her. You know she thinks every shell she makes is keeping you alive?’

  He sighed. ‘I won’t say we can’t do with the shells. There’s been times when we just had to call it a day ’cause we had nothing left to shoot Jerry with. And that meant leaving our boys in the lurch in no man’s land with half the barbed wire still there. But that’s not the job for her, is it? Not Matty.’

  ‘She’s a lot tougher than you think. She’s even stood up to Eliza and won, so she won’t take any notice of you.’

  Sam shot her a look of concern. ‘What’s Eliza been poking her nose in for again?’

  ‘Don’t worry! We’re all on the same side this time. She’s been coming down every now ’n again, to see Matty.’

  His silence was disapproving.

  ‘Listen, Sam, it’s been a good thing in the end, she only had to spend one day with Matty to know she could never replace your mum. I think she just wants to make up for the past. Anyway, she even brought her little boy down to see Matty. He’s a real character.’

  ‘William?’ Sam smiled. ‘I’d like to see how he’s growing up.’

  Nellie hoped this was the first sign of a thaw between Sam and his elder sister. Nellie had ceased to think of Eliza as Madam Mecklenburgh. Through their brief meetings over the past months, a respect for her strength as a lone mother had replaced the old hero worship.

  ‘She’s kept to her word so far, Sam,’ she said tentatively, ‘and I think she could do with her family now. She’s bringing little William up on her own.’

  ‘Ernest didn’t want the boy after all?’

  ‘He tried to make trouble when he first got back from Australia, but, from what Eliza told me, it’s more like he wanted her back and thought he could use William to get to her.’

  Some old protective family feeling cut through the years of resentment and Sam’s face flushed with anger. ‘Well, he’ll have me to deal with if he tries taking that boy off her!’

  When they arrived at the chandler’s in Rotherhithe Street, Lily’s door was open. They went in, to find Jock sitting alone, with the baby on his knee.

  ‘She’s gone to the pub for a jug of beer!’ Jock said, a broad smile on his face. ‘What do you think of young Johnny, then?’ he asked Sam proudly, holding his son up for inspection and standing up to greet Nellie with a kiss.

  ‘Looks like you, poor little blighter!’ Sam joked.

  Nellie shoved his shoulder. ‘Don’t let Lily hear you say that, he’s her darling!’

  At that moment, Lily pushed through the door, carrying the foaming beer. ‘Haven’t you got the glasses ready, Jock?’

  Jock pulled a face. ‘See, started nagging the minute I walked in the door, she did!’ He handed the baby to Sam, who immediately began to make Johnny laugh and hiccup.

  When the glasses were full, they raised a toast to the boys’ safe return and a quick end to the war. That was the only reference they made to the fighting: both men seemed to have forgotten the war the minute they crossed the Channel. They were determined to enjoy every minute of their freedom and had soon drained the ale jug dry.

  ‘I’ll nip out and get another!’ said Jock.

  ‘I’ll come too, I might need a breath of air!’ said Sam.

  When she heard a clatter, followed by the stifled laughs of the two friends, she realized they had both tumbled down the slippery stairs to the yard. She went to jump up when Lily stopped her.

  ‘Leave ’em, Nell, they’ve been dodging German shells all this time. I reckon they can manage the stairs on their own!’

  She drew her chair closer to Nellie. ‘Has he kissed you yet?’

  Nellie blushed and nodded.

  ‘I knew it!’ Lily was triumphant. ‘He looks like the cat that got the cream.’

  Nellie sighed contentedly. ‘Oh, Lil, I don’t mind being the cream, I can tell you!’

  After a night of laughter and reminiscences, Nellie and Sam left their friends with promises to meet up again before the boys’ leave was over. The April night was bright with stars and when Sam suggested a slow walk home, Nellie was pleased. Rotherhithe Street, the longest in London, meandered round the river’s loop and they walked arm in arm along its length, as slowly as they could. Any time alone with Sam was precious now to her, even surrounded by the gaslit, late-night bustle of Rotherhithe. Groups of rowdy Tommies, on leave, were turning out of pubs and many shops, still glowing with light, were serving customers. In spite of the noisy crowd, Nellie felt she and Sam continued to be enclosed in a charmed bubble.

  ‘Let’s have a look at the river,’ Sam suggested.

  He led her away from the busy street, down an alley leading to the foreshore, where they made their way out on to a jetty. The Thames spread out before them, inky black, slick and striped with moonlight. Golden globes of light bobbed up and down, on moored vessels, strung out across the river. The stars spread out thickly above them like a silver quilt, as Sam put his arms round her. He kissed her gently at first and then more deeply. When eventually they stopped for breath, he said, ‘I love you, Nellie. Will you marry me?’

  Nellie looked up into his face, aware that above them in the sky myriad stars were moving slowly into their appointed places in the heavens. Without pause or hesitation, she replied, ‘Yes, Sam, of course I’ll marry you.’

  30

  ‘Keep the Home Fires Burning’

  That night, as Nellie slipped into bed beside Alice, she felt as though she might float away with happiness. She wanted to lie there and remember the touch of Sam’s lips, the feel of his strong arms round her, and she had just repeated his proposal to herself for the third time when she felt a nudge in her back. She turned over, to see the wide, inquisitive eyes of her sister.

  ‘You’re not asleep?’ Nellie whispered, not wishing to wake Matty, but then a voice came from the other bed.

  ‘I’m not asleep either!’ Matty sat up. ‘Has he asked you?’

  Nellie nodded, a wide smile suffusing her face: joy seemed to have robbed her of the power of speech. She sat up in bed, nodding and smiling until she burst out, ‘Yes!’

  She found herself being smothered in hugs from Alice and being jumped upon by Matty, who squirrelled herself into bed between the two sisters.

  ‘Tell us all about it!’ Alice sat up and through their giggles Nellie recounted the details of Sam’s proposal.

  ‘Ohhh,’ said Alice, ‘how romantic, under the stars by the river!’

  Matty threw her arms round Nellie and whispered, ‘You’re already more than a sister to me, Nellie. I’m so happy for you and our Sam!’

  The next morning, at breakfast, they told the boys. Charlie and Freddie each got up to shake Sam’s hand in a manly way, offering their congratulations. Bobby, in his normal unaffected fashion, was unable to restrain his joy and caught Sam in a hug.

  ‘Welcome to the family! Our Nellie deserves to be happy,’ he said, casting a loving look in her direction.

  Nellie looked on in contentment, thrilled that Sam had been given such a resounding thumbs-up from her br
others.

  But the days flew by after that. Though they snatched every possible moment together, she found herself wishing she could hold back time and never have to say goodbye to him again.

  The night before Sam’s leave ended, he and Nellie went to the Star together, for Matty wanted him to see her on stage. They sat in the stalls near the front, Nellie with her arm through his, snuggled as close as she could, glancing at him from time to time to see how he reacted to Matty’s performance. As she finished her first rousing chorus of, ‘If you were the only boy in the world and I were the only girl!’ Sam turned to look at Nellie in astonishment.

  ‘She’s got even better! She should be up the West End!’ he whispered.

  Nellie nodded and squeezed his arm, glad that Sam had this magical memory of his sister to take back to France. Matty certainly put on a show for her brother that night, strolling up and down the long stage as though she owned it, getting the audience to join in the chorus. She seemed to become a different person on the stage, as though she belonged there. Afterwards they’d planned a supper at the Green Ginger so they could announce their engagement to the rest of their family and friends. Nellie was a little disappointed that no one was in the least bit surprised.

  ‘Surprised?’ Maggie Tyrell said, when she told her. ‘The only surprise is why it took you so long! I tried to tell you, love, he’s worth ’undred of that Ted Bosher!’ She lifted her pint glass and proposed a toast to the other custard tarts sitting round the table. ‘To our Nellie, who said she’d never get up on a cart with Sam Gilbie!’

  ‘And to Sam. Now she’s up there, you’d better hold on to your whip!’ Ethel added, downing her pint.

  ‘Don’t be filthy, Ethel!’ Maggie’s retort sent the girls into fits of giggles, while Nellie moved away to hide her blushes and greet Lily and Jock, who’d left the baby with his parents for the evening.

  ‘Couldn’t you have told me before? I’ve been in such a suspense all week!’ Lily scolded Nellie.

  ‘We wanted it to be a surprise!’